where are you?
Hypothermia
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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