she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
