Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
