Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
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