so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
