Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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