I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
