margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i now understand why vodka
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
