I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
