Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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