Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
