dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
