I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
