He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
