brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
