dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
