would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
