Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
