you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
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at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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