What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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