He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
