She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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