I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
All I want is dick and wine.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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