so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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