Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
