"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
