you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
