just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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