Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
