My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I think my moral compass just broke
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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