Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
