is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
