Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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