I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
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I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
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I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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