It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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