drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
