office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
