Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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