sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
