I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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