I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
