Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
