Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
