Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize