sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
