I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
