My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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