Your tits are I can't wait for
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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