So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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