I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
