no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
