Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize