Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
