i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We left an ass print on the piano.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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