when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
