why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
