After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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