u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
