Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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